How many of you are sitting beside the person that has to have that tough conversation? Yeah, that's what I thought now. And so when I looked and I asked, how many of you would raise your hand saying you got a tough conversation that's for somebody, I'm looking over at my own people and they're on the computer, they're getting questions from me and doing all the work, and they're all raising their hands. In fact, I love it because I'm in the studio here with some of the John Maxwell company. I'm going to bet that every one of you right now would raise your hand and say, I've got this situation. And then if I could get into a conversation with you, and if I ask you right now, in fact I am asking you right now, how many of you have a situation right now where you have someone that you need to have an honest conversation with, but you're kind of putting it off because you know it's not going to be an easy conversation. So how do you and I have these tough conversations? If I just could come on and sit down and grab a chair and kind of sit at the desk with you and say, "Hey, my name's John, I'm your friend." And introduce myself and meet each one of you personally. And number three, caring should never suppress candor while candor should never displace caring. Caring establishes the relationship, of course it does, while candor expands the relationship. In other words, I care enough about you to tell you some things that are going to be difficult so that you can grow you and develop you. When I care for you, I say I value you as a person, but when I'm honest with you and have a tough conversation with you, you know what I say to you? I really care for your potential. Caring values the person while candor values the person's potential. And there are some key principles to learn about the tough, difficult conversations we need. But care balanced with candor creates developing relationships. In other words, if I don't care for you, but I'm just bluntly honest with you, the good news is, I'll tell you, but the bad news is you'll pull away as quick as you can. That just creates dysfunctional relationships.Ĭandor without care creates distant relationships. In other words, I love you, but I won't be honest with you. Care without candor creates dysfunctional relationships. And here's what I said in the Five Levels book. And that means that we're going to have some maybe very difficult conversations. In other words, I want to care for you so I want to relate well to you, but I also want to have candor with you so that I can be honest with you so that we can have some movement and progress. In my book The Five Levels of Leadership, in level number two, which is a relationship level, I talk about the challenge as a leader to balance care and candor. ![]() John Maxwell: Let me really kind of drill down here for a moment, because this was a major disconnect that I had. We want to balance care and candor, and here are nine steps to help you have an effective tough conversation. Now, if you would like to get the show notes and download them and follow along as John teaches, you can go to /tough, and you'll be able to download the show notes there. Then Jason Brooks and I will come back and apply that and demonstrate how we do that at the John Maxwell Leadership Organization. He's going to teach a little bit on helping you have tough conversations. ![]() So whether you're delivering bad news, whether you're correcting someone's missteps, whether you are challenging the way someone is thinking, the tough conversation with someone truly should honor their potential. That's because great leaders understand tough conversations usually spark opportunity for growth and expansion. But see, the best leaders have learned how to lean into the tough conversations, even when they're uncomfortable. See, tough conversations truly are inevitable in leadership. In fact, John Maxwell is going to bring a lesson in just a moment on how to have tough conversations. And that's why today, I will be joined by Jason Brooks, and I'm so thankful for Jason and him joining me today, because today, we're going to dig deeper into this concept of tough conversations. We are committed to your growth because we want you to lead better. Mark Cole: Hey, welcome to the John Maxwell Leadership Podcast.
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